What are the Characteristics of a Healthy Triad Relationship?

This article introduces the characteristics of a healthy triad relationship. In this environment, three people are in relationship, everyone feels good about themselves, and there is strong cooperation among all. People in these triads can nurture their shared resources and encourage possibilities for growth and development.

In these healthy triads, the participants generate self-worth for everyone. There is freedom to express oneself and to respond to others feelings in a safe and respectful way. There is a sense of inclusion in this process, where people can acknowledge each others’ feelings and respond in supportive ways. Even if there is disagreement, there is never the withdrawal of love or use of punitive responses to control or diminish others.

Everyone in the healthy triad can share their perspectives about situations and check on the validity of these beliefs and attitudes. There are no unchecked perceptions that any one or more participants decides are the facts, which can lead to communication problems.

The healthy triad doesn’t enforce rules which others must conform to. Instead, each member is free to think, feel, behave, and grow in their own way. Nobody is responsible for the others’ way of being and nobody is responsible for fixing problems of others. Each member can develop understanding of differences in an empathetic way.

It’s also okay in these triads for any two of the three members to pair at times without risking the relationship of all three. Each member feels enough self-esteem and worth to be secure within themselves, without fearing that the bonding of the other two will lead to their rejection or abandonment. They can feel good about others bonding and attaching. If they feel left out, they can comment on and express it, and receive supportive reassurance about their feelings and needs for inclusion. These three people learn how to make room for each other, even when there are only two interacting in meaningful ways at certain times.

In order for healthy triads to function well, children must be able to learn and develop skills from their parents, which they bring into adulthood. Parents must be willing to model this sense of security and inclusion with their children. There must be the willingness to demonstrate respect for the feelings and needs of others, and there must be learning opportunities for how to cope and feel good about oneself, even when one is not receiving all the attention. Each person counts and is deeply valued and respected in these healthy triads.

Sources

Brothers, B. J. (2013). Virginia Satir: Foundational Ideas. Routledge.