Transference and Countertransference in Therapeutic Relationships

This article addresses transference and countertransference in therapeutic relationships. Transference is a phenomenon that happens when we enter into the therapeutic relationship as a client with a counsellor or therapist. We bring the history of our previous relationships into the relationship with the professional. Sometimes we repeat aspects of our past relationships in the present, with different people, and attempt to work through old problems in a repetitive or habitual way. Therefore, clients may relate to counsellors in similar ways that they relate to important people from their past, such as a parent/caregiver, relative, or romantic partner. By reacting to the counsellor as though they are a representation of an important person from the past, a client may be attempting to resolve an unresolved relational conflict. Although this is an unconscious process and the client is often unaware that the counsellor is eliciting an acting out response in them, it serves as a powerful element in the therapeutic relationship. This reawakening or re-enacting of unresolved conflicts that are transferred onto the counsellor (because of qualities or traits that remind them of the past person), is a process that allows the person to re-experience the feelings they had about the past person and to process those with the counsellor. This is an opportunity to get their past unmet needs met in the present moment. An unconscious desire to resolve the conflict is motivated by returning to a balanced state or sense of equilibrium. A counsellor needs to be cautious and aware of how transference can be a self-fulfilling prophecy for a client. Some clients may attempt to manipulate the relationship to recreate earlier conflicts in past relationships. I’ve experienced this with clients who have complex trauma from abuse and abandonment issues with a parent or primary caregiver. The transference has played out in a variety of ways, but one of these ways includes engaging in a pattern of no-shows and last-minute cancellations (also a form of defense or protection). Coinciding with this have been expressions of anger and blame directed toward me for stepping back and providing more space. It’s as though the person is unconsciously wanting me to develop negative feelings and perceptions of them; to reject and abandon them like they have previously experienced. In these situations, it is ideal for the counsellor to do their best to interact in warm, supportive, and kind ways, but to also engage the person in direct conversation that is intended to confront the behavior and bring awareness into the relationship dynamics. Like transference, countertransference is experienced by the counsellor or therapist. It is felt by some counsellors as a negative behavioral response to the client. It can leave the person feeling defensive, as if they’re doing something wrong. However, both the counsellor and client are bringing their personal relationship histories together, and these dynamics will emerge, either consciously or unconsciously. A more effective understanding of countertransference is that it may include all feelings and thoughts a counsellor may have about their clients. It may include realistic responses, responses to transference, responses to content that is troubling, or characteristic responses. Effective countertransference adds clarity to the therapeutic relationship and may increase empathy and deeper understanding of the relationship between both people. Countertransference that isn’t effective involves issues which are of greater importance to the counsellor; vicarious use of clients; use of subtle cues to convey what the counsellor feels; interventions that are not in the client’s best interest; and assuming a role imagined for the counsellor by the client. Finally, counsellors may recognize transference in therapy when they resist the client's need for them to engage in personal dialogue or interactions. Transference can also show up when individuals express resistance to the therapy process. It can provide a sense of safety and may resemble behavior that was used in the past to protect themselves from uncomfortable or painful feelings. Counsellors can also recognize transference when it shows up as pervasiveness (viewing others similarly), insistence (seeing others according to one’s own perceptions and viewing this is accurate), excessiveness (intense responses to situations that don’t warrant it), and displacement (an intense reaction based on responses from a past relationship). By providing minimal structure for individuals or groups, the counsellor can sometimes increase the opportunities for transference to occur between them and the client or between individual members in a group.

Sources

Shebib, B. (2019). Choices: Interviewing and counselling skills for Canadians. Pearson.